Pyromonkey

Pyromonkey really didn't start the fire. He just inexplicably happens to be always near to one. His fellows admire his dedication and his uncanny ability to be the first one on the scene. He always knows where the hydrants are, the best way to put out each fire, and how to find its cause. He likes to point out that the same holds true for firefighters and that correlation should not be confused with causation in such cases. Yes, there might have been that one incident where he did set fire to a basketball net at school, but that was out of frustration about advertisers trying to use the hit song by his favorite artist to promote hemorrhoid relief products.