I found out I am on the spectrum for autism. It makes sense now. I can't look people in the eye when I talk to them. When I am confronted or forced to have a one-on-one with people or with a large group I get really fidgety and uncomfortable. My body will vibrate from within. I've been told I am too quiet and when I force myself out of my comfort zone I get too loud. It's like a can't control that power within. I have only a whisper of myself out into the world. All that prowess and personality contained and too scared to share it. So like a whisper I hold it back.