Spiraling

I feel myself spiraling down into indecisiveness, fear and negativity. Afraid of not meeting expectations, of not outdoing my previous work, competing uncontrollably..... So here it is, the mess, not to be fixed or perfected. Letting my raw ideas out before they escape, wild like the nature. Brainstorming out loud, not hidden away never to see the light of day. Maybe on the verge of a breakthrough, or maybe not. Patiently impatient, exploring the wild brush strokes. Wondering endlessly in the infinite canvas.