Alavarfs look rather dandy. It’s the sporty looking moustache and beard on both male, female and gender neutrals that give them that well groomed appearance. They like to drink really expensive wine and talk about things such as how the soil in the ‘booji’ region gives the grape a burnt tyre fragrance. The truth is, their olfactory organs are completely blocked by their massive moustaches which means they can’t smell or taste anything. Landlords often serve them the dregs from the beer pump and tell them it’s a cheeky vintage from a little known vineyard in Blackpool on Earth.