Dear younger self,
The thing about a cactus is that it's like a human. If a cactus gets sick, it needs all the sick removed. The birds take care of this by carefully pecking it all out. If the birds aren't able to do this and the cactus keeps growing, it will eventually become entirely rotted and decay. Like humans, when cactuses die only a skeleton remains. Let the parts of you that feel like they're rotting be healed. Get rid of the energy inside of you that's eating you alive--you'll never fully grow until you do, you'll just decay until it all falls apart.
You've always wanted to see saguaros. You were born here, this is your home. This is the part of you that needed to be seen again. ...