Space Pirate Formalin Quahogstaster

I̷̧͈͂t̸̖̰͇̋ ̸̢̐͐̚d̸̨̜̗͒͆o̶̼̘̮̿e̷̙̝̅̕s̴͖͒̑n̷̳̻͎̔̎'̷̟̀t̸̞̄ ̷͓̥̇̍͌ͅa̵̝͗́͗l̴̳̭͙̊̽͠ẃ̶̨̛͑ȧ̶͖̍y̷͉̠͇̎͝s̷͉̑̇̓ ̵̗̻͔͗̔̚s̷͙̊̐̌u̸̹͋͠c̶̬͓̹̄̓k̸͚͘ ̵̹̫́̈́̾ț̶̑̐́ơ̵͕̬̓̿ ̴̠͈̹̈́s̴̠͎̭͠u̵̢͌c̴̱̲͖͝k̶̛̞͈. You are a Slud who left home looking for a good time. Whether that's cruising the galaxy or sucking on your f̸̭͘a̷̭̫̻̒̅̂v̸͚̲̮͛̾̎ȍ̵̳͍̞ŗ̶̮̏͌̂į̸̲̆̋ț̶͔̔ẹ̶̛͗͘ helmet shells, it's all good with you. Sometimes you get a little high by adding a blend of cardamom powder and giant clam solution to your helmet-water. Once a week you ḑ̴̟̕e̷̤̻̿͜ļ̸̠̘̎̋į̵̲͑̄͠v̵̘̀̓̈́ê̸̞̼̇̂r̴̫̈̃ ̴̫̭̆g̸̢̧͓̀a̶̤͂̽̏l̴̲̚̚͘a̸̹̳͒̅x̴̧̤͍͂͛ý̸͔̩̥͛-wide news to The Gate Keepers, and in exchange they let you eat straight from their giant aquarium.