The loss of yourself is a long and tough process, it cannot happen overnight, not even through a single event, it is a series of never-ending torments with isolated moments of calm, which are felt as happiness.
In order to survive, you set up mental prostheses, a world of harmony, that's how I do it in any case.
You subconsciously set it up as the opposite of your reality, it becomes bigger, more engaging, begins to become another reality, a parallel universe you can withdraw into, a place that only belongs to you, where you are your sole ruler, yes until then it's a long way away and this place has nothing in common with reality.
you will behave differently, people will find you in a rea...