Master Dutch

You remember very little of your old life. You were born in a mountainous ruin and raised lovingly by a clownfish in a bowl. As a child, you took pride in cutting-edge gonzo journalism, but it soon became obvious that you were meant for bigger things. That's where your feared fists of fury came in. It was essential in coming to terms with your penchant for avoiding conflict, and to face it head-on instead. Your time for greatness is here. Cancel the apocalypse!