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Carl describes himself as a disgruntled former mob assassin. Before that, he claims he was a green beret who fought in “many” wars. He also brags that he’s been Sub-Dude's best friend since childhood. Carl's just as likely to put a gun in your face as playfully nuzzle the dogs in his neighborhood. He has a scriptural passage for every occasion, usually misquoted or made up. He compulsivel...