Listen up. I'm Daiki Fancyrumpus. I'm working on a scientific experiment involving the earlobe and the heart of a newly discovered type of Loch Ness monster. That's all I can tell you for now. My college voted me "most changed since freshman year", but I was always more interested in jump-roping. What do you get when you combine Che Guevara with a wild mouse? I'm genuinely asking.